


"I remember all of them, especially my sons."

by Ecinue



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angels, Blue Sonder AU, Dadza, Demons, Mythical Beings & Creatures, angst but not really lmao, it's a perspective thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ecinue/pseuds/Ecinue
Summary: He remembers everyone that has entered his domain. His sons are the most memorable.Blue Sonder AU credit to @chewwypepsicola on Twitter.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil | Philza Minecraft (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil | Philza Minecraft, Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit & Phil | Philza Minecraft (Video Blogging RPF), Tubbo & Phil | Philza Minecraft, Tubbo & Tommyinnit, Wilbur Soot & Philza
Comments: 18
Kudos: 526
Collections: Blue Sonder AU





	"I remember all of them, especially my sons."

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS NOT CANON UNLESS ENE SUDDENLY SAYS SO!!! THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION OF SOMETHING THE BLUE SONDER AU!
> 
> Blue Sonder AU credit to @chewwypepsicola on Twitter. (See End Notes for a full explanation of the inspiration for this fic.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Please be aware that everything I write is fictional and by no means supposed to allude to what should really happen. I have no intention of making these creators uncomfortable and if any of the people mentioned here blatantly state that they are uncomfortable with this, I will immediately remove this work.

Phil remembers every single person who has gone through his forest.

His forest, his domain, his _home_...it is impossible to forget anyone who passes through for it is lonely in his forest. He’s well aware that he might be the last of his kind to exist on this planet, this planet of destroyed greenery and bloodshed and wars. His forest is his domain to command, revolving around him. He is the central sun to this system, to this forest, and without him, this place would wilt and wither and rot. His world is lonely.

Nobody comes to the forest. Angels pass over him, deeming him as a simple nature fae who is not worth their time. ( _It’s amusing how wrong they are._ ) Demons don’t know of his existence, choosing to remain in Hell and battle for the crown. ( _Demons are delightful guests when they’re not trying to kill his home._ ) Humans stay away, terrified of the mythical being that is rumored to live there. ( _Such weak and vulnerable creatures, it only makes sense that they’re scared._ ) Other creatures stop by but most of them stay away. It’s a lonely existence in this domain.

His domain houses some of the most important things in this forest. There’s a lake, a lake so clear that you could see the rocks at the bottom and your reflection staring back at you. There’s a house, a house hidden in the trees, his home that is safe from the views of other creatures. Most importantly, there’s a tree. There’s a tree that he’s cultivated and helped grow from the moment he settled in this forest. He’s claimed the tree as the only living proof of his visitors’ existence. The handprints are there for future visitors, a sign of trust towards Phil, but it also acts as an anchor, an anchor to remind him that’s not insane and that the visitors’ presence was genuine. It’s very lonely in this forest.

He remembers everyone who’s passed by his home, everyone who’s visited, everyone who’s harmed this place. He remembers _everything_. His memory works well despite his age. He remembers everything here. He even remembers the first time that he’s met the demons he would come to call his sons.

* * *

He had met Tommy first, years and years ago.

It felt like an entire lifetime ago if Phil was being honest. He still remembered finding the young imp-like demon on the outskirts of his domain, taking the demon in. His domain had been relatively new at the time in comparison to its current state. He had just moved from his old home, abandoning the old home, and taken refuge in this forest. The little imp had pressed his hand into the tree with little to no hesitation and pride rose in Phil’s chest. Then, the little demon was gone with the wind, back to Hell, only leaving behind their handprint on the tree and their name carved on a wooden plank. ( _He still treasures that wooden plank._ )

When he had met Tommy again, he didn’t know what to think. Phil searched Tommy’s eyes at that moment, searching for familiarity and recognition, but he got neither of the two things that he searched for. He dropped the matter. Considering how young the gremlin had been, it was likely that Tommy didn’t recognize him. Never did he imagine that the young demon had lost his memories.

( _"_ _I don’t remember anything from my past.”_

_Tommy had admitted that one day and Phil’s world seemed to halt for a moment as the elder turned towards the demon, shock evident in his eyes. The demon’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he stared at the tree, staring at the handprint his younger self had imprinted onto the bark. “I don’t remember anything. I remember waking up in a forest and then being found by Wilbur. I remember how my powers work and that I’m a demon. I don’t remember anything before that.”_

_“You don’t remember anything?” Phil whispered. “Absolutely nothing?”_

_Tommy shook his head and Phil felt something in his heart shrivel up. The demon didn’t remember their time together, the things they had done together, the fond memories they had. Still...at least the boy was here now. Perhaps they could make new memories._

_“It’s okay, Tommy,” Phil murmured. “It’s okay. We’ll help you.”_

_Tommy’s hesitant little smile had brightened his day considerably after that._ )

* * *

Wilbur and Techno had been surprising.

He hadn’t expected to take in two runaway demons, much less one with status as high as Techno’s. He had accepted them nonetheless. They were simply trying to look for a purpose, a purpose that wasn’t infinitely killing in Hell. Phil knew that they weren’t going to stay forever ( _nobody ever stays forever_ ) for demons were fickle and antsy, longing to travel and despising the notion of staying in one place for long. That was alright with him. Even if they left, his home will always welcome them with open arms.

Wilbur had been quick to warm up to him, imprinting his hand on the bark of the tree shortly after his first visit, much to Techno’s chagrin. Techno took longer to open up, a few months passing before he reluctantly pressed his hand into the tree. Pride and elation had filled Phil’s entire being when these events happened and he had happily welcomed the two boys as parts of his family.

( _The first time that Wilbur teleported away, the demons had been terrified._

_He had managed to teleport to the border of the domain, inches away from leaving the safe forest. Techno had gone absolutely ballistic, hyperventilating as he begged Phil to find Wilbur. Not knowing what to do, Phil could only try and reassure Techno, but the pink-haired demon didn’t calm down one single bit. Left with no choice, Phil departed to retrieve Wilbur who was absolutely disoriented and confused. Leading Wilbur back to the treehouse, Techno had launched himself off the balcony of the treehouse, landing on the ground in a heap before tackling Wilbur. The two demons had sat there, trembling for a moment, before Techno got off, all signs of panic gone._

_“Do you have medicine?” He asked in his deadpan tone. “Wilbur needs rest. His powers take energy.”_

_Phil only smiled. “Come inside.”_

_The first time that Techno had bled, the demons had been terrified._

_He had managed to trip, cutting his side on his own sword as he fell. Phil had rushed forward to help but Wilbur had thrown out an arm to stop him as Techno scrambled back, grabbing his cape to press against the wound. A few drops of blood fell and landed in the grass, a sizzling sound echoing through the air as the grass burned and wilted. The duo had been trembling, Techno with fear and Wilbur with concern._

_“Don’t touch me,” Techno rasped. “I’ll hurt you.”_

_Phil pulled out a roll of gauze from his sleeve. “Can you bandage yourself?”_

_Techno nodded and when the wound was fully bandaged, his shoulders slumped. Wilbur rushed forward but Phil made it there first, picking up Techno like a rag doll and bringing them back to the treehouse. Wilbur had been concerned, so concerned._

_It seems that he has much to learn about his sons._ )

* * *

Tubbo’s young, so young and so damaged.

Phil hasn’t seen a Fallen so young in a very long time, a very very long time. Tubbo carries himself with uncertainty, timidity, kindness, and joy. If he looks clearly, Phil can see the fear, the longing, the anger, the exhaustion in the young boy’s body. He wonders what happened that caused Tubbo to fall. He wonders if Tubbo is alright. The kid always seems so bright but there are moments where he sits next to the tree with the handprints and just stares at the sky aimlessly. He finds himself parenting Tubbo and Tommy the most and he finds that he’s alright with that.

( _When Tubbo mentioned that he had a family, Tommy had stormed off in a heap of anger, leaving everyone but Phil confused. Tubbo had looked crushed, confused, terrified of losing his friend. Phil had reassured the Fallen Angel that Tommy was just undergoing personal emotions._

_“Does he hate me?” Tubbo had asked._

_“Of course not,” Phil had answered. “He just needs time to process it.”_

_Tommy had been sitting down next to the lake, shaking. Phil had sat down next to the boy and pulled him into a hug._

_“He’s going to leave us,” Tommy had sobbed, voice cracking._

_“It’s okay, Tommy,” Phil murmured. “He’ll still be your friend and brother even if it’s not in blood. We’re all here for you.”_

_He knew better than anyone else how it felt to lose someone of your family to another._ )

* * *

Phil loves his family very much. They’re damaged and scarred and traumatized but they’re his. He remembers them, every single memory filed away in storage even if they’ve left his home. His forest, his domain, his home, they all welcome his sons. His sons have their moments but he refuses to leave them.

( _He can still remember Wilbur’s bouts of paranoia and insanity, shrieking his fear that people will leave him. He can still remember Techno’s dissociation and possession, sometimes losing focus for hours and other times his personality doing a 180 flip as he goes on a massacre. He can still remember Tommy’s deafening silence as he stares at the lake, searching for memories that amnesia has taken from him. He can still remember Tubbo sitting by the tree, shaking with his wings around him as he relives his worst memories through flashbacks._ )

His sons are his family. Fuck what anyone else would say.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS NOT CANON UNLESS ENE SUDDENLY SAYS SO!!! THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION OF SOMETHING THE BLUE SONDER AU!
> 
> So...speedrunning fics are my new specialty. Special thanks to **Kila** and **Mac and Cheesio** on the Blue Sonder Discord for their theories...this is cause of y'all.
> 
> It's just my interpretation of Phil's POV during some of the AU. Don't look at me. I'm tired, okay? I wrote this within the span of breaks in between and during four classes. Look, fuck physics class. Fics > School
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this! Kudos, comments, bookmarks, anything is appreciated greatly! Thank you for reading my fic!
> 
> Feel free to come to yell at me on Twitter!  
> https://twitter.com/ecinue_unicorn  
> Check out my Carrd!~  
> https://ecinue.carrd.co


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